Phoney restaurants

“Phoney restaurants”, said Jilly Cooper, “make me giggle”. Where the descriptions are ridiculously long. “Freshly-caught prawns coated with crunchy breadcrumbs, lavishly served in a goblet lined with crisp lettuce leaves and with a generous helping of cocktail sauce laced with brandy”. In David Lodge's “Nice Work”, an English lecturer is taken out for lunch by a manufacturing company director. With a fine sense of irony, she orders each item by reading out the full description. I must do it myself one day. Her host fails to spot the irony. Her meal is pretty dire.