When my parents first started taking us to the south of
France in the mid nineteen seventies, they were doing something relatively
unusual for the times. There was not a lot of money and - surprisingly,
perhaps, for the daughter of an Italian - my mother would pack food from home
which we took with us: packets of Shredded Wheat; those round flat tins
containing Fray Bentos steak pies; and tins of meatballs. It might have had
something to do with exchange controls.
Be that as it may, two tins of the meatballs got to the
south of France. One was pronounced so disgusting that the other was shipped
all the way back to London and given to harvest festival collectors who came to
the door.
One year, we had arrived in northern France; the tent was
up; and we were all hungry. I have a feeling that my aunt Christine was with
us. For whatever reason, the idea of opening one of the tins of food was
rejected and we headed out, destination unknown. It was to be my first meal in
a French restaurant, indeed my first meal in any restaurant other than a Berni
Inn.
I do not recall there being much choice about where we would
eat. The restaurant was on a square in a
nondescript northern French town. It was dark. But the light coming from the
restaurant was cheerful and the place bustled. There were probably white paper
tablecloths. It was that kind of place.
In those days, my brother and I shared one adult portion
between us. I can remember the menu very clearly. Cornets of ham, filled with
"crudités"; stuffed tomatoes; Steak-frites. And, having said I can
remember the menu, I have no recollection of what there was for pudding. If the
place was anything like the dozens of other, similar restaurants we were to
encounter over the years, there would have been a choice: Crème Caramel, Mousse
au Chocolat, Tarte aux Pommes, Glaces, Flan. Or was "Flan" simply
another term for "Crème Caramel"?
I suspect that if we had walked into such a restaurant
thirty years later and been offered the same things, we would have spent the
rest of the holiday reliving the appalling meal we had endured. Instead, on
that August night in the nineteen seventies, we were all enchanted with cornets
of plastic jambon de Paris with tinned Russian salad in thin mayonnaise; with
tomatoes that were stuffed with some kind of mince; with steak that, according
to my mother, was "probably horse".
So enchanted were we that a few years later, at my
particular request, we returned. It was a mistake. None of us knew for certain
even the name of the town, although I had a vague recollection that it was
called Albans or something similar. My father only remembered roughly where we
would have stopped on that first night. We spent some time fruitlessly
searching for it as the night grew darker and ended up back at the campsite,
hungrier than when we had left, forced once again into self-catering. A sarcastic
remark I made ("Well that's great!") was misconstrued as being a
criticism of others and it was not a happy evening.
The following day, we renewed our search and very quickly
came upon the square in the town, to find the restaurant, and it was open. It
was not usual for us to eat out at lunchtime but it would clearly have been
rude not to have done so on this occasion. And my father suggested we did just
that. It was perhaps an illustration of how one should never try to recreate
the perfect meal. Unlike its forerunner, the menu has passed into oblivion,
although my father documented the "foul mashed potato" in the holiday
log. His conclusion about the meal was that it was "much less impressive
(and more expensive!) than last time". Or had we simply grown more
sophisticated in the intervening years?